Not Myself
Yeah, for those of you who have had a chance to be around me the last couple of days, my apalogies. I have not been myself. I dunno why. I guess a culmination of a lot of things -- Can't exactly put my finger on it. I hate it when I can't put my finger on it. I hate when I know what I have to do to get out of this place of feelin' a little crappy.... Things like reading the Bible and praying and spendin' time with God work GREAT. However, it is in these places that I don't want to, or don't feel like doing such things. Dunno why. Have no good reason not to, Have every good reason to ---
Eventually I will get to the point when I will just buck up and do it... cause I know I need to. No worries.....
posted by Sara @ 6:43 PM
7 Comments:
Hey Sara-
THis is kinda in response to what you were saying on my blog. I see what you're talking about. Like, for example...people tell me how to act when I'm on the worship team and when I do what these people are telling me to do....I feel fake. I'm torn between being real and submitting to authority that GOd has in place. NEways, when I was talking about being REAL honest....I meant more of being truthful about what is going on in our lives that we hide from eachother on a bigger scale. I'm talking more about secret sin. I don't think its a good idea to tell someone they are being an ass even though they may be being an ass:) hehee. I know you know that because that is pretty much common knowledge but I'm saying that things we struggle with on a regular basis....Goliaths that we can't seem to beat. Thats what I'm talking about. NEways, about not feeling yourself---I haven't felt good lately either. Espicially today....when you called me I was in the thick of it. My mom got home tonight and she was like, "you seem annoyed...why?" and I don't even really know. A lot of times when I feel like this I have to disect my thought life. SOmetimes I'm thinking negative things or worrying about something without really knowing that I'm doing it....or stressing about something without realizing that its stressing me out. Ask God what the root is. I did this today....GOt to the roots and it all has to do with not fully trusting God with my whole life. Worry, fear, feeling alone, anger, insecurity....all of these things creep up on me and sometimes I don't even notice.
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sorry about that stupid printer and the crapiness of things right now. be careful with hanging away from what you know you'll get around to doing. atleast... i've found myself with the same thought pattern and i'll be honest in saying that it's probably been a good six months since i've read my bible. has melissa strayed from the shores of obedient daily stuff with God? i think so. you seem more consistent than that... but i just thought i'd say what happened to me when i didn't feel like it.
i wrote a comment in response to yours on my blog... i accidentally mispelled your name in part of the comment... i'm a dork and too lazy to delete the comment and retype it. so i thought i'd just apologize now. they should make it so you can go in and change comments. what if someone is grammatically incorrect and the blog owner is obsessive compulsive? come ON!
Holly -
yeah, I get what you mean about being real HONEST with Goliaths... :) I'm totally with ya... I think it is going to be vital to the Freedom so many people talk about.
I guess your blog just got me thinking along the lines of what I commented about being "real" because that is what I was thinking about all day long... the struggle of what I'm really feeling and what is actually truth... anyways, it was a little bunny trail of thoughts.....
Melissa -
no worries on mispelling my name - I do it all the time. I hate that I can't correct my comments after I notice there are spelling errors. I'm bad about spelling....
Anyways -
Thanks for the encouragement though -- I'll do what I need to do :)
and then there's always coffee with emily. that always helps
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