Kids.

Kids are really adorable. Some of you may have gotten this in an email that people forward to ya... but I think it is funny. Just thought I'd post it because it made my day. I laughed hard at the last one.

The things kids say . . .

1. JACK (age 3 ) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

2. MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

3. STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much, that when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

4. BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

5. SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

6. DI (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"

7. MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

8. CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

9. JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

10. TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew; looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?

11. The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... this particular Sunday sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice that many others could hear, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Grizzly Man

A couple of nights ago I watched the film "Grizzly Man". First off, the grizzly bear scares me. I have to say that when I was camping this summer in Grizzly country where signs yield "Grizzly Bears frequent this area"... I was a bit frightened. Now to think of a human spending so much time among the grizzly bear and in the most grizzly populated territories I thought, "CRAZY!"-You'd have to be crazy. Come to find out, Timothy Tredwell was indeed crazy. I don't think he started that way though. Timothy had several dissapointments in life and he turned to drinking and became an alchoholic. He retreated to the wilderness looking for a place of freedom from "his deamons", as Herzog puts it. Tredwell indeed found freedom from the bondage and prison of alchoholism in the wilderness; CAUSE THERE WAS NO ALCHOHOL OUT THERE! Because of this Timothy began to love the wilderness and love the bears and claims that the bears are what helped him and pretty much that he found salvation in the grizzly. Makes you feel sorry for the guy... he was looking for the right things, just in the wrong place. Timothy fell in love with the grizzly because in the wilderness he found acceptence (atleast that is what he believed he found there), to the point of beginning to really believe that he was one of them. That the Grizzly and the foxes were all his family. This mindset lead Tredwell to begin to dislike civilazation and live out of the belief that everyone was "after him." This is why the movie is rated R. Tredwell goes on several fits of rage where he expresses his anger towards humans with some very colorful communication. In Grizzly Man you find a movie that makes you laugh(you get to see how crazy some Alaskans are and the things they say and do just make you crack up) and I guess the thing I liked most about this movie is that it makes you think. What was so different about Tredwell? .... Was Timothy Tredwell really any different from any of us? He made himself home in a place where he felt like he belonged and felt like he was most accepted (even if it would eventually kill him). He looked for a place where he felt like his life had purpose and meaning (even if it was a self created purpose like for Tredwell it was "protecting the grizzlys"). We all want meaning and purpose in life, right? If treadwell found true salvation in the bears, he wouldn't have continued in his lifestyle of anger and confusion... He might have found freedom from the bottle, but inside he was still imprisoned. Anyways, if you like documentaries(which I do) or movie that could spark up a lot of conversation or thinking(which I do) I would suggest Grizzly Man as your next rental.

Don't get your tongue stuck on a frozen flag pole and then use mouthwash

Yesterday I was working at a concession booth at the state fair called Noah's Ark. We sell this fancy ice cream that is fun to make. you take fresh cream and mix in the flavors you want and any candy bar mix-ins and then you freeze it with liquid nitrogen - pretty cool stuff. Well, towards the end of the night I made a batch for someone and had some left over... it was cookie dough, i can't resist cookie dough. well, as I'm going to wash the ice cream bowl i decide to pick up a piece of newly made cookie dough ice cream and pop it into my mouth. I am not sure what went wrong but the COLD ice cream froze to my tongue (it felt just like the time when I was little and I got my lip stuck to the metal in the freezer at the shopette.) Anyhow, so I pull the ice cream out of my mouth and manage to cause only minor ripping and bleeding. So, i finish off my work shift with a sore tongue.
Funny how you forget things so fast:
Well, by the time midnight rolled around and I was finally home I had forgotten about the whole tearing my tongue incident until I made the horrible, horrible mistake of putting listerene in my mouth. Let me tell you, that probably hurt worse then getting my whole tongue stuck to a flag pole and having to tear it off. I was in so much pain that i wanted to scream bloody murder, but couldn't cause the roommates were in bed.
So, now i know that if you happen to tear your taste buds and part of your tongue off, don't use mouth wash for awhile. And as G.I. Joe always says, "and knowing is half the battle."