Whats in a Birthday?

well, yesterday was my birthday. I was in denial about it all day long. I didn't want most people to know it was my birthday, but somehow the word got out to some. I don't know if it is because I am feeling old that I didn't want it to be my birthday. I think sometimes my birthday feels sad too because I don't get to spend it with the person that I REALLLLY want to spend it with (my favortite person in the world) and thats my twin sister. We celebrated our birthdays together for the first 20 years of life. My 1st bday without my sister was my 21st. this is now the 7th birthday without my sister. I think I get sad on my birthday becaue I want to be with her. But we made a deal that if we haven't spent a birthday together by our 30th that we were goingg to go on a trip together because it would be 10 years since we have spent it together -- I look forward to that day.
but I definately do have great people in my life here in Pocatello that blessed me on my birthday. Thanks to all of you... I definately felt loved and appreciate all of you! you'rrrrrrre great. (but still not sure if I appreciated the sombrero on my head and the whole restraunt singing to me)

Randoms

I'm not really sure what I was wanting to post about... but I did know that I wanted to say something because I haven't posted in a lil' while. Last night was kinda a fun night because the power went out for 13 hours and I almost froze to death in my freezing cold house. I told my friend Fawn NOT to wear sandals because when she does, it snows. Guess what, she wore them yesterday and it stormed and snowed.
Anyway -
I feel old... I had tea with my friend Brian yesterday and he said, "we've known each other for 11 years." That made me feel old. I dunno why I feel self-conscious about my age lately... it really isn't THAT old. Anyways, Brian, had fun drinkin' tea... we must hangout more often, I really haven't known many friends for 11 years... thats a long time.
ok, thats enought randoms for the day.... tonight I am going to a party dressed as NEMO. :)

Not Myself

Yeah, for those of you who have had a chance to be around me the last couple of days, my apalogies. I have not been myself. I dunno why. I guess a culmination of a lot of things -- Can't exactly put my finger on it. I hate it when I can't put my finger on it. I hate when I know what I have to do to get out of this place of feelin' a little crappy.... Things like reading the Bible and praying and spendin' time with God work GREAT. However, it is in these places that I don't want to, or don't feel like doing such things. Dunno why. Have no good reason not to, Have every good reason to ---
Eventually I will get to the point when I will just buck up and do it... cause I know I need to. No worries.....

To SNOWBOARD

I went snowboarding for the first time last week. It was so much fun... I am however surprised that I didn't kill myself. This picture above isn't me, but is the view people had of me much of my time... I did ok, I thought. I pushed myself hard and was sore for MANY days. Couldn't move my neck and shoulders without much pain. It is 4 days later and my butt is still kind of sore. But, it was such a nice day to be out on the hill and snowboard -- I am so glad that I went and did it even though I was scared(i'm a chicken sometimes). I want to go more so I can snowboard better than I ski -- it was much funner than skiing, I thought. Heres to all the patient people ( you know who you are) who tried to teach me to snowboard even though I fell ALOT... Thanks for cheering me on and saying "you're doing great!" Even though I was on my butt more times than not! :)

IT'S EXTREME BABY!

Last night I watched for the first time in my life part of Extreme Make-over, Home Edition. Talk about a tear jerker. They really know how to produce a t.v. show that messes with your emotions. All of American can sit down together and for an hour, laugh together, cry together, and have this thing inside of us rise up and compel us to want to jump up and go do something nice for someone. Build them a house, buy them a car, buy them dinner, just in someway we want to go HELP someone. But then we get up after the show and pop some popcorn, get a drink, and sit down for some more t.v. viewing and that feeling to help is gone. As quick as it comes.... it goes. Why do so many American's LOVE extreme make-over type shows... feel good shows? I think it gave me my fix for an hour of feeling like there is some good going on in the world. And then I went on to watch my T.V. show about terrorist trying to blow up America. In 2 hours I can get both extremes. I think I kind of find that humorous. I think God is wanting to give me so much more of his heart... so much more of a 24/7 desire to step outside of my selfish self and help people more... love people more. That a 1 hour tv show won't make me feel like I got my fix of "good stuff happenin' in this world." That I would see that kind of good stuff personally in my daily life. That I would have the wisdom and knowledge to know what people are going through and to have just the right words or acts of encouragement to totally lift someones spirits or shine a light on God's Truth for them. I want to be like the extreme make-over home edition team -- Not on houses, but that in everyday life I would see extreme make-overs going on in people's lives around me, emotionally and spiritually... Who wants to be apart of that kind of extreme make-over team?

I love my dog.

Just a reminder: I have the cutest dog. I love how sweet she is. She jumped in my bed this morning and cuddled with me - so kind of her, I needed a hug. She totally made my day (well getting a free bagel made my day too because I bet Fawn that this person was a guy and she thought he was a girl... definately a guy... Free bagel for me. Always make bets with people who have worse eye sight than you do...) anyways, Sadie likes to have her hand held... Sometimes she just wants you so sit there and hold her paw.

Deeper thoughts

I feel like I've been in "deep thought" lately... but when I sit down to share my deep thoughts, my mind becomes blank. What was I going to share? I dunno.
Well, you know, I've been thinkin' lately about how my eyes have become so open to all the crap that goes on in people's lives. I am left speechless by the pain and struggles that people around me go through. So many people walk through life only revealing what is on the surface, when actually deep down they are broken, hurt, and struggling. We live in a world of hurt. And who cares about that? Doesn't seem like many... Who wants to see that change? Well, people say they do, but then they do nothing about it... makes me wonder do they really wanna see it change? Do they really care?
I've seen how much Jesus cares. I see how much Jesus weeps with the people who weep. Do we feel the pain the people around us feel and weep with them? I see how much Jesus really wants to bring real freedom to peoples lives. Do we want to see the people around us find freedom? - enough to do something about it?
I don't think there are many who know what real freedom is. I don't think I know what real true freedom really looks like. I think I've tasted it though... enough to want it for myself and to want it sooooo stinkin badly for the people around me.
We have an amazing God who wants to bring Salvation to every situation in our lives. To the things we struggle with, He wants his Salvation to reign in those places... to the places deep down where people are so hurt and broken - God wants to pour out his Salvation in those places.... It is God who helps us stand firm in the midst of a shaken up, messed up world.
(some lystra silence lyrics below)
Whom have I in heaven but you
Earth has nothing I desire beside you
I look to the East and I look to the West
I found nothing compares
You remain the same

we praise You because You are the hope of our salvation
You have given us firm ground to stand upon
we praise You because You are the rock of our salvation
and after we've done everything to stand,
WE WILL STAND!!!

Disturbing Picture.

This is for Fawn and all the other people out there that love cats. Just think of it as a bobcat fawn.
Sometimes I feel bad that I REALLY dislike cats when other people I know love them so much.(sorry Adriane.)
I heard that Cockroaches (cucaracha) are cleaner than cats. Cats are filthy animals.

Why it is good to leave windows unlocked

Well, yesterday, Sunday, my roommate and I and a friend had a great idea to go get a sandwich for dinner. We were hungry. Well, we walked out of the house and without thinking didn't grab keys or anything (we obviously had food on our mind) and we locked ourselves out of our house! IT was sooo frustrating!!!! So, we try to break in... couldn't --- Called a friend to come help - he brought tools... still couldn't break in. Every Stinkin' window in our house was LOCKED! Who locks all their windows.... obviously we do. After plenty of time in the somewhat cold weather, our friend called a friend who called a friend who was a locksmith. He came and let us in. Now, locksmiths are EXPENSIVE on sunday evenings. However, since our friend, knew this friend, who knew a friend, he came and let us in for CHEAP plus a plate of cookies. So, moral of the story...
1. Check, do you have your keys before you leave the house?
2. Leave a window unlocked just incase you ever need to break in.
3. It pays to know people, who know people, who know people.
4. Tell the girl at subway that you don't have your subway card because it is in your house and you locked yourself out of your house and she will give you a free soda.

Saturday Morning Breakfast

I like to be lazy on Saturday mornings. I like to sleep in the livingroom on Fri. nights because in the mornings it is the darkest room in the house and the sun doesn't wake me up (if stephanie keeps her bedroom door shut). Anyhow, I didn't really sleep in this morning, but got up and made homemade pancakes; some that were banana and some that were blackberry. They were sooooo good to me... my only thought the whole time was "my mom would be proud of me." My mom makes the best banana pancakes ever, and the best homemade cinnimon rolls. I hope I can go visit in the near future and get spoiled by mother. A lot of times I hate being so stinkin' far away from family. I lvoe my family.

People

I just wanted to say: I LOVE PEOPLE. I just have so much fun hangin' out and laughing and being with people. Last night, although I was so tired, I hungout with people at Buddys. I had a blast. This goes out to all you People out there, I LIKE YOU!

Bad (as in good) Coffee and Hats.

Well, the best coffee I have had recently was at the Bad Ass coffee shop in Dillion, MT. Oh my, so so Good! I told my parents that if they won the lottery that they would have to open a Bad Ass coffee shop in Pocatello, ID. My mom thought that was a mean name and thought we should open a "Silly Ass" coffee shop... I said, "mom, it is a chain, you can't just change the name from bad ass to silly ass."

I like cowboy hats. Dunno why. I think I have always had this dream growing up of living on a ranch with jeans, cowboy hats, horses, dogs, chickens, and of course a nice cowboy. Still sounds like a lot of fun to me.

Adriane, just a side note.... "You're a Cab!"
Fawn - I will not swim in the Portneuf river! Gross, I don't like sharing a swimming spot with dead cows.